Sorry it's been so long! Between moving and emotionally preparing myself for this big step, the blog has kinda been low on the priority list!
I had a conversation with my Amber the other night, about love. It was very insightful, actually. She was describing how she feels about a guy, and it made me smile because even after over two years with Jacob, I still feel the same way I did when we first got together. I gave her advice from my heart, just being as honest as I could about my own experience, and per her request, I will put everything down that I told her, and I will continue doing so for any of you who could use some advice. I have a different way of looking at love and life. Here we go!
The key is, is to fall in love all over again every day. He will have no idea how much a simple smile or look can make your knees absolutely useless. Hold onto that feeling, hold it tight. Because when things get hard or they are indeed falling apart, always find the tiniest little thing about him that makes you smile and don't let go. Even when it get's tough, that little string you found will be the strongest life line you will have and you can make it through anything. Absolutely anything. It's so easy to see flaws flaws flaws and leave because it's the simplest thing to do. But if you can look at him and smile inside at absolutely anything, why throw that away? People are precious. If you can look at the man you are with and look past the stuff that makes you nuts and see him truly as he is and remember why you fell for him in the first place, that's the strongest hold you can find. Everybody needs somebody. I firmly believe that. Jacob can drive me nuts sometimes! But you know what? When I close my eyes, he is the first thing I see. My whole future, is him. Not a single inch of it doesn't have him carved into it in stone. He's human. He's flawed. But he is perfect for me. I'm flawed and human too. Love is one of the strongest elements of most anything out there.
If I have learned one thing from my life with Jacob, it has been to hold tight and never let go. Think of life as the weather. Sometimes it's raining outside and it makes you sad and thoughtful. Sometimes the wind is blowing so hard everything is blowing away around you and it slips away. Sometimes the sun shines brighter than anything you can imagine and fills you with light and happiness. Sometimes tornadoes come and destroy everything. But it's what you do on the days that aren't sunny that make you who you are and it makes you hold on tighter to the things you cannot stand to lose. Absolutely everything happens for a reason. Even the weather. Jacob and I have had some of the strongest storms yet, and through everything we could have held onto to save, we held onto each other above everything else and we made it through. We lost so much but never each other. That's what love is.
Being back home with him, I can't describe the incredible joy I have. There are simply no words. It's absolutely perfect.
I love you.
What can I say? We are two people who fell into mutual weirdness and we call it love. (:
